Online Dating Tips from Real Women Who Met Their Spouses – In a perfect world, your future husband would save you from getting hit by a UPS truck as you struggle to free your Gucci slingback from a sewer grate. You’d tumble into each other’s arms and then he, a surgeon (back from a Doctors Without Borders trip, naturally), would gaze into your eyes and fall deeply in love. But you’re not J.Lo, and Matthew McConaughey is married—sorry, ladies. This is real life, where finding a partner out in the wild is as rare as finding Gucci’s on sale. Instead, so many people are connecting via dating apps that they’re actually the number one way couples meet, according to a Stanford University study.
Online Dating Tips
While this gives us hope, we know that navigating the World Wide Web of dating sites can be overwhelming and frustrating, to say the least. That’s why we reached out to 12 real women from all over the country who were able to do it successfully and asked them for their best online dating tips. Their wisdom, below. Online Dating….
Look for someone who makes it convenient for you
“Wait for the one who goes out of the way for you. For instance, for our first date, Joey made sure to pick a place near my apartment and at a time that made it easy for me. I was living on the Upper East Side at the time, and he lived all the way down in Hell’s Kitchen (which is New York for far). It showed me that he was interested in me and my life—and it felt so different from the standard ‘Hey, let’s meet up’ mentality that you usually find on dating apps—which led to four and a half years of marriage and a 19-month-old son.
Cut them off if they’re not texting you back
“I’m divorced—after marrying pretty young—so it was mildly horrifying to try out dating apps for the first time in my late 20s. But I learned from that first marriage that I didn’t want to waste time on anyone who didn’t reach out often enough. I think going on dates is great, and you should go on dates if you’re interested in the person you’re messaging with, but if they don’t message you back in a timely way, just move on. Anyone who really wants to get to know you will make that obvious.
Kick your “type” to the curb
“I would tell single friends to keep an open mind and don’t go for a certain ‘type.’ When I met my now-husband, I was swiping right on all the ultra-masculine, bodybuilder types because, physically, that’s what I was into at the moment. You might think you’re only attracted to blonde guys with hair like Thor or that anyone shorter than 5’6″ is out of the question. But my husband’s smile in his profile picture seemed so genuine and kind and it totally drew me in, so I gave him a chance and I’m so glad I did! We just got married in November.
Pay for the site if it has the population you want to date
“When I was online dating, I went on a ton of Hinge dates, like maybe two first dates a week, that never amounted to much. Eventually, I took the advice of my best guy friend, who told me that if I really wanted to meet a guy who was serious about a long-term relationship, I had to pay to be on a dating site—the now-defunct How About We. (But paid dating sites today include Match, eHarmony, JDate, etc.) I matched with a very attractive, 6’4″ man who wanted to take me out for mac and cheese and wine—my soul mate, obvi. It’s been five and a half years since that date and I’ve never logged back in. We got married four months ago!” after Online Dating…
Put the apps down while you’re on a date with someone else
“In order to give a first date—or any date, really—a chance to blossom and grow into something real and meaningful, you need to turn off notifications on your dating apps so that you have no distractions while you’re with someone. You can’t be fully present on a date with one person while getting a new message from someone else.”
Go for the “normal” photo guy who matches his bio
“It’s so important to try to figure out who a person is instead of just focusing on someone because their picture would look great on the cover of GQ. My now husband’s photos were very normal and not overdone like plenty others are. Instead of modeling headshots, he had regular pictures of him and his dogs (an apparent sign of trustworthiness) and a basic kitchen selfie. His bio was normal too; he doesn’t work out a crazy amount or go adventure hiking every single weekend. He eats pizza and drinks whiskey. i really happy
Don’t shy away from cultural differences
“After four years of dating, three years of marriage, and now with a baby on the way, I can say I’m glad I took a chance with online dating and with someone very different from myself. I went into it with an attitude of being open to and accepting of those differences, which weren’t small considering my family and I are from Rizal, a province just outside Manila in the Philippines, and Mike is from a big Italian family in New Jersey. But staying open to what made us different and teaching each other about our respective traditions and customs actually made us much closer than I anticipated.”